my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
