What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's shark week go big or go home
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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