thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival