you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
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Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.