we're chasing vodka with high fives
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!