And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.