i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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