So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
