This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize