If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just come out here and I will go home with you...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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