# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
