atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
