My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
