The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
