so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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