at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's blow job season.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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