So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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