Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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