My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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