My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
