You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy