We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.