No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
