I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
