dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
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See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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