All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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