oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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