True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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