yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
