Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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