Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize