Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
where does the pee come out of this thing
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
