That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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