For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
