Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
