Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize