READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm passing your future prison.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
