worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
