I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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