I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize