I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
