i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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