Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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