I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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