There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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