i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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