she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
