PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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