I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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