I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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