i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
