Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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