Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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