My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
