He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
