Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
