i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
