drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What happened to fro yo and sex?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
