I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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