in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
