problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
