wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The air taste purple.
Randomize
